Monday, December 12, 2011

5 o 'clock in the morning

I woke to the sound of Rudy's early morning text.
I reached under my pillow, grabbed my phone, and read his newest message.  

Tell my kids that I miss their smile.. their laugh.. but most of all, their I LOVE YOU, DAD! Have a good day, Babe. I love you. Amor y paz.

When Rudy first moved to Arkansas, the ritual of us texting each other, in the early morning, began. At 5 o 'clock in the morning.

As I walk down the dark hallway, after my wake me up shower, I begin to think about our current life. Together. In two places.

We no longer wake up together. Or share a cup of sweetened coffee, while watching the news. Rudy wakes up in Arkansas, two hours before I do in California. While I am still sleeping he is showering. Getting ready for his day ahead. Then, before he steps out of the car at his so happy to have a job place of employment, he texts me. His morning  ding! "hello".  I respond in kind.

As he walks through the back entrance of the building, I roll out of bed, shower and settle in on the couch for a bit. Alone. With my own coffee. Or, mostly, tea. Thinking about life and its ups and downs.

We have embraced it for what it is. An unexpected bump in the road. A bump we'll eventually hurdle. Eventually.

This is our life. Right now. For the time being.

Our first connection for the day is a brief moment. Our moment. At 5 o 'clock in the morning.


  1. Oh Mom, I love this...but it also makes me sad when I really think about our separate family lives. We're all staying strong for each other.

  2. That is so nice that you yet connect with a distance. But I hope your situation will improve and you both will be together soon. It is really tough when it is in two places.

  3. This made me sad for a moment. Then I thought, wow, how wonderful it is that they have such a strong and binding connection! That being to each other and the children. The morning connection text is a modern day touch across the country. Years ago it would have been a sleepy (on one end) hello and maybe a smile at the sound of his/her voice, but's a text. You can imagine his tone and he yours. Not perfect, but for now, it's so much better than if there had been some struggle before he left. So much better than waking together to search for someplace to move because you have lost the house. You much could be worse and you know beyond all doubt, you have his love and his mind is on all of you as yours is on him.
    Merry Christmas and many more years of such a special love.

  4. Tapping the spot over my heart.

  5. Neither time nor distance can destroy love.

  6. Here is hoping you will be together soon. Spiritually, you are one and that is a blessing. Have a wonderful Christmas filled with love and laughter :)

  7. I'm not to sure about tht 5:00 in the morning ritual but I suppose it is a good way to start your day with your husband when he is far away. I love your new picture and background too. Lovely.

  8. Love is stronger than anything. You guys are proof of that.

  9. If living together while being apart could be done with any more love, or grace, I'm not sure how. You do it with such a wonderful flair. Your family is tied with love and held together with faith... Brava d~

  10. How lovely...thank goodness for mobile phones!! Your all doing a great job of keepin your lov alive

  11. Waking and living together can be done in various ways and work. You are proof. Not ideal but you are doing it better than most who live together. :-)

  12. Thanks for sharing. This is just beautiful...

  13. Liz, thanks for just being you... for helping out.. making everything a bit more smooth..
    paps, yes, it is hard, but our attitude is one that it is just what we need to do, right now... every visit we have is just another honeymoon!
    Jo, thanks.. when i reread it, I too, felt sad - that this is what has happened with us even though we have worked very hard for years to improve our lives... well, it goes to show nothing is definitive..
    Kelly, heart tapping is healthy, you know...
    angela, that is my sentiment, exactly..
    vanyel, yes, spiritually, we are together... always,
    cottage, i am so used to the early hour.. i don't think twice anymore.. and glad you like the background (its probably what you look at daily - i'm dreaming here)..
    elizabeth, our love is very solid.. a plus for our kind of situation...
    k, you always a kind word for me... my heart is warmed by them...
    jen.. oh, my, yes... mobile phones... i'd probably go crazy with worry without it..
    peg, i completely agree... a relationship is what you make it... and, yep, we are doing better than some stories i've heard about - couples interacting daily...
    legal, thank you, thank you...

  14. The sweet with the bitter, like morning coffee.


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