word purge

The timer is set. Once I press the start button, I must write. For 15 minutes. Just write. Word purge. Whatever comes to mind. Just say it. No holding back.....

(Contribution to GBE2)

well here it is. early. or late. i guess 8:47am is late by my standards. but i am on vacation. for two weeks. for some down time. i received rudy's early morning text. 4:29am. it woke me. i read it. rolled over and went back to sleep. now i am thinking about him. our situation. how odd life is. i would never have guessed this life for us. although i must remind myself we have done this before. when he lived in honduras for a year. working. same thing. anyway. i miss him. here. with me. as part of the family. so many things happen. daily. that he misses out on. when i was visiting him this past november we had that exact conversation. missing the small stuff. how we just need to bare with it. think positive. everything will eventually work out. i am here in california. in a house i love. we love. a home. a stable environment. where the kids are happily comfortable. that is important to me. to rudy. rudy is in arkansas. in a small duplex. he has made it his place. it's surrounded by a golf course and tall trees. lovely. i know. but it is there. i am not ready for there. and rudy needs to be there. for a job. a job that makes him smile. a job that has brought back his feeling of contributing to our family. a job so far away. but, we both are committed to making this relationship work. we will. that i don't doubt. in the long run. or maybe it will be the short run. who knows. right now i am here. i need to continue working. both because i enjoy teaching and because financially a double income is necessary.

the weather in arkansas is similar to california. according to rudy the sun is shining yet, it's chilly. same here.

the boys are alseep, in their beds. liz is traveling around texas with her boyfriend and his family. she's texted. she's having fun. that makes me happy. knowing she is enjoying herself with someone she loves. someone who loves her. and a family that has embraced her. enjoys her company. roberto will be up soon. off to work. one job. then another. he's relentless. young. enjoying all the money that lands in his pocket. brad seems to have plans to go to knott's berry farm today? hm. so he says. his friend invited him. not sure what time. but it is getting late for amusement park time. i'm letting him sleep. see what happens.

the room i am sitting in is full of sunshine. blasting through the windows. awesome. i enjoy it. yet, it is interrupting my eyes. blinding the computer screen. the room is still decorated with stockings and other christmas paraphernalia and the tree continues to stare into the house. today may be the day to take it all down.

i plan to call rudy in a bit. he is at work. so since i have time off i can call him anytime. and just say hello. i love you. when i am at work. calling him isn't so easy. with a classroom full of kids.

i will call in an hour or so.