Thursday, September 1, 2011

Judging Sarah

The Duchess cried. Teary-eyed really, but I could tell that if she would just let go she'd lose control and not be able to stop. She really just wants to be understood. Like any of us.

I am currently, during my down early morning late night times, watching Finding Sarah - "My Fall From Grace", on Oprah's OWN Channel.

Sarah fascinates me.

She just can't seem to catch a break, yet she wants to. I can tell. Just by watching her, on the TV. The way she talks. Talks to Suze Orman. Listens. And questions. She seems confused. About life and its meaning. Her life's worth. She wants to know the answers to life's questions. Her questions. What she doesn't realize is that it just takes some kind of faith to accepts things as they are. She's lost.

Sarah, over the years, has been the object of negative attention. It all began when she married a prince, whom she adored. Had a child. Tried to fit into the royal life. Needed to get away. See her husband, far away; without her newborn daughter.

The problem, for her, arose out of people's minds. "Bad mother," the newspapers raved. From that mistake to her last misstep - bribery - society decided they didn't like her.

Not me. I've always wondered what was behind the behaviors she displayed.

While others judged her looks, her outside the box mannerisms, I've wanted to know who she really is. If I sat with her, just the two of us, what would I learn? In a way, her documentary is providing that insight for me. I wish I could be there. On the comfy chair, sitting across from her. Listen to her. Help her. I like Sarah. I don't want to judge her without really knowing who she is, what she thinks. She is so obviously broken inside. She has no self-worth. Her doe in the headlights look illustrates her confusion. With life. With worth. With meaning. She worries way too much what others think.

Dr. Phil told her she is emotionally bankrupt. "What is it to be emotionally bankrupt?" she inquired. "It means you are depressed, anxious, inhabit self-hatred... " He went on to say that, sadly, people write on a slate that defines us. After a time or two, we believe what's written. Sarah believes it. Her slate was and is crowded with negativity. What a no good person she is, was scribbled throughout her life. "But what is most tragic, is when you begin to write those same things on that slate," Dr. Phil continued.

The only way Sarah can heal is to get honest with herself. She must be honest with her internal dialogue. "All I want is to accept something, anything, a compliment even, and mean it. Then my world would be complete," Sarah said, frog in her throat.

Dr. Phil told her the good news is that she must, herself, make it happen. The bad news is that she must, herself, make it happen. She must journey on a road to find reason, happiness, and purpose.

There are no accidents.

"Will I get better?" she innocently asked the doctor. "You will as long as you don't get in the way. You are your challenge."

As Suze Orman was being driven away from her meeting with Sarah she simply stated, "I think I made a friend today."

Me too. In a different sort of way. But still. She's someone I could hang with. Be a friend to. With.

I will not judge her. I want to learn about her. Learning about her helps me learn about myself.


  1. Great insights here on so many levels. My favorite line is:

    "Will I get better?" she innocently asked the doctor. "You will as long as you don't get in the way."

    That speaks volumes! Another great blog D!

  2. thanks, k. i am always grateful for you and your readings of my writings...

  3. VERY INSIGHTFUL! and psssssssst don't know how you guys do it..does he come home for nuptials? KUDOS

  4. I share your interest in Sarah. I think she is a very needy and deserving woman. She has been beaten down by the outside world and the Royals for so many years and for just trying to be who she thought she should be.
    Excellent post.

  5. I agree with Jo! Sarah deserved a lot better than she got. She was insecure in herself and the world's press and the Royals ate her for breakfast. Great post!


  6. This touched a nerve in me. Watching that show, I ached for her, so sad and broken and searching, seeking in so many directions to just once get it right, get approval, get accepted. I think she should blog. I have found it very cathartic to spill out the hurts and pains and long-held emotion onto the screen and put it out there for the world to see. Reading into someone's life, you get a better picture of them and, knowing them, they become a part of yours.

    Thanks for this write. :D

  7. thank you, brendaa - jo - kathy - and cherie....
    people fascinate me and sarah really is someone to be watched with interest.. not distain...
    thanks for reading...

  8. There really is no "How To Marry Into A Royal Family for Dummies," is there? or, perhaps, "Life in a Media Fishbowl for Dummies," which would apply to all the suddenly famous, from actors to Sarah & Kate to Chesney Sullivan (the pilot on the Hudson). Sometimes these people conduct themselves with remarkable grace, and sometimes, being human, they make mistakes.

    I think we should give them some forbearance, not be so cruel when they disappoint our expectations by revealing their human side.

  9. beverly,
    so true.. right?... it's so easy to judge others, so much easier than looking at ourselves and take into account why we even choose to squash others into the ground...
    thanks for reading...

  10. I've always had a soft spot for Sarah. I haven't seen the talks you mentioned, but I think she's continually been portrayed as unacceptable, and that's just ridiculous.

    If any of us were to be scrutinized day and night, there'd certainly be some less than flattering things that could be said. The thing is, so much of her (or anyone well-known) public persona has been decided by others--her in-laws, the press, etc. If those same forces had instead chosen to highlight her gifts, the world would have been given a decidedly different picture of the very same woman.