Sunday, January 29, 2012


I sent Rudy an early morning text.
From his perspective he thought I was having a hard time.
Reconsidering our choice.
Not so.
I was simply, as a matter-of-fact, stating that time just seems to fly right by. As it always does.
For everyone.
One day your kids are born, the next they are almost ready to graduate from college, or working a lot, making money, or in the midst of pre-teen angst.
A year ago Rudy moved to Arkansas, to work.
A year ago!
Yes, time surely flies.

Rudy called me. Just to see if I was okay. I was.

But what he didn't know is that his call made me emotional. I just wanted to bust out crying, hearing his voice. Yet, I didn't because there was no need.

What we needed was to talk without him worrying about me; and more important, talk without the distraction of me trying to catch my breath. And talk we did. For quite a while. About every day things, and about how he feels connected to me, proud of me, everytime he reads one of my posts.

Rudy knows me. Knows how I am. How sometimes I can be very quiet. Sometimes a bit more talkative. I can be humorous, or have no reaction at all. So when he said he feels my heart in my words, how it seems my thoughts are just dropped onto the page, just writing what I feel about life, that my writing adds a light to me, not new light just a different spin on what he already knows, so warm it meant a lot to me. Because he truly knows me. Knows what I am capable of. Knows my strengths and weaknesses. He said I have brought tears to his eyes, through my writings. He says he's not surprised. Just impressed. Said it made him feel I was just in the next room. There with him.

All these things he was saying to me wanted me to cry more. But I didn't.
My blubbering isn't what we needed at that moment.
We just needed the moment.
To talk together.
To laugh.
To reaffirm what we are doing.
To believe that eventually our lives will fuze once again.
In one place.

In the meantime, these spontaneous conversations between us are just what we need. Conversations that are not forced, rather cherished. Conversations that are not mandatory; rather, enjoyable.

This is how we are approaching our situation. Our relationship.
By believing in ourselves. Our partnership. In each other.
That is what makes living apart work. Keeping us together.
Just talking.
Simple talking.


  1. I would of thought the same thing Rudy did from your text. It's almost poetic which comes across as something's wrong.

    I hope that the two of you can work something out to be together again. Arkansas is not California, but I live in the Midsouth and survive it, so you could to. California with her beaches and close mountains would be more fun. Is there any chance he could locate back home? Is the job that high paying and wonderful that it makes the distance worth it? Just some things to ponder. Good luck with this. If you did work it out, you'd have to change the title of your blog.

    Just now following you. What took me so long?


    1. well, joyce.. the chance of rudy returning, for work in CA, is kinda nil right now.. you see, he was laid off - for 3 years - went to cooking school for 1 year - a possible career change - only to be told he needed actual work experience to get a job in a restaurant - catch 22, right? - so he delved back into what he knows, branched out and found the AR job - at a lab - the only one in the USA.... its definitely not higher paying but it does keep us on track - so we don't lose everything like many families have during these economic hardships.... so at the moment - this is our situation - his move was out of necessity rather than for wealth...

      yea, for following. thanks.

  2. "Simple talking" doesn't really exisit. Talking with someone is always an exchange of who you are and who they are. Even the simplest subject requires YOUR words and theirs. It's sharing a part of each of you with the other. Texts are good, conversation is necessary. ♥

    1. true that, joyce. talking is so much more than simple. conversation is a definite necessity.

      joyce, you always have such a kind way to respond to my posts (and everyone else's as well). thanks for that.

  3. Think of the textx you two send! Ours look more like: Get milk on your way home. LOLOL!

    1. yes, amy, there have been some, i can't show you, texts... makes things more interesting. ;)

  4. Treasured, indeed. He picked up on something you did not see, in your words. Part of that must have existed, or the tears would not have been so difficult to hold onto. Right there, connected. Distances can be so much farther for people who are standing face to face with no connection. You are both blessed with one another, every day.

    Thank you d~ for including us in the part of your heart that bridges the distance between.

    1. hi k. thanks for reading and responding. as usual, your comments are perfectly said.

  5. Isn't it interesting that we only get choked up when we hear the voices we love the most. Start putting your posts in order young lady, I think you're writing a book. :)

    1. so true, kelly.

      i think you are the one that needs to get your chapters flowing, you entertaining female you. this world could use plenty more of your humor.. to carry with them, daily. :D

  6. I wanted to cry for you just reading this. Sounds to me like Rudy knows your heart better than you do. He knew just exactly what you needed and that is certainly proof to me that never were 2 hearts more in tune with each other than yours. You have a special relationship with that deep connection that is so rare in the world today. I agree with Kelly...yours is the making of classic novels.

  7. Years ago, my (then) fiance and I were in a financial position to only see each other 1-2 times a year. There were 1,000 miles between us and the internet, text messages, and cell phones didn't really exist (hard to believe, but true). We clung to those phone calls - even at 10 cents per minute those phone bills could be ghastly - as life support. We somehow managed to sustain our relationship 7 years - SEVEN! - because of those precious precious minutes just talking about everyday and sometimes not even talking but sitting together, phone receivers pressed to our ears, listening to the other breathe.

  8. Daphne, thank you for letting all of us in to your mind and heart; You are and always have been beautiful inside and out. I share your posts with Stephan, he and I love your reflections and your ability to share yourself ... With all of us.

    Love to you, Rudy, Elizabeth and Bradford

  9. It all becomes rather simple if you know that staying together is the only right choice. :)

  10. I agree with Gene Pool Diva - there is a book in there.
    It's raw, it's real and for once it's a loving relationship.
    I have one and no one else I see or am around does.
    It makes me feel less alone as odd as that may sound.
    I wish you both continued love and peace. And a job and life together in the same zip code! :-)