That's what we are. Rudy and I. Rather than together we are living independently. Of each other. Separately. Each in our own place. Sailing through life at the same pace, yet not together.
Back. In the past. When we were living together. We lived separately. He did his thing. I did mine. He in the garage. A garage sporting five TV's, beer, and a comfy, cozy couch. Me at the opposite end of our home. In our bedroom. Lounging on our big, comfy, cozy bed. Reading.
Two ships passing in the night.
Curious people have asked how we do it. Live apart. I'm here. He's there. That it must be so hard. It's made me think. Consider why it isn't too difficult for us. Not too much. And I realize it is because we have lived independently together. For years.
Our love. Our comfort. Our desires. Our dreams. Are one. We want the same things. Strive for our best life. Yet, we fell into the trap of assumption. Assuming we will always be together. Even if apart. In the same household.
Now that we are truly, surely, no getting around it apart, we appreciate our love for one another even more. Even deeper. Rudy is my person in this lifetime. And I am his.
Even though we are like two ships passing in the night.
(contribution for WoW: write a post about a phrase you overheard in a nearby conversation)
Back. In the past. When we were living together. We lived separately. He did his thing. I did mine. He in the garage. A garage sporting five TV's, beer, and a comfy, cozy couch. Me at the opposite end of our home. In our bedroom. Lounging on our big, comfy, cozy bed. Reading.
Two ships passing in the night.
Curious people have asked how we do it. Live apart. I'm here. He's there. That it must be so hard. It's made me think. Consider why it isn't too difficult for us. Not too much. And I realize it is because we have lived independently together. For years.
Our love. Our comfort. Our desires. Our dreams. Are one. We want the same things. Strive for our best life. Yet, we fell into the trap of assumption. Assuming we will always be together. Even if apart. In the same household.
Now that we are truly, surely, no getting around it apart, we appreciate our love for one another even more. Even deeper. Rudy is my person in this lifetime. And I am his.
Even though we are like two ships passing in the night.
(contribution for WoW: write a post about a phrase you overheard in a nearby conversation)
Beautiful.
ReplyDeletethank you, peg! the words just fell from my thoughts...
DeleteI like it! I think it is healthy to have you own interests and to pursue them. It makes you more interesting and fully engaged in life. The hard part is finding a balance ... Family, work, personal interests... All we can do is try!
ReplyDeleteI love your posts Daphne and alll of us LOVE you!
Sandra
thanks, sandy. and i love you all!
Deleteand yes, balance is not always easy to find.
Daphne, you are amazing! I am visiting from your comment on my own blog about "rogue nut" and am just amazed at how comfortable you are with your situation. I covet your peace, gal pal...you inspire me. Thank you.
ReplyDeletehi jaimee. ah, not amazing. just living. thank you for reading and following. i look forward to reading your posts, also.
DeleteMy Roomy and I have always lived rather separate but together lives. He has his space (the family room, sports arena, man cave) where he loves to watch his TV choices and I like my office and the living room for my TV and computer stuff. It works for us. We have dinner together, we sleep together, we hang out on week-ends sometimes, but we actually live our own lives from the same house. Not so different from you and Rudy. Roomy works out of town a lot and I am fine with that. I miss him, I look forward to his return, but I'm fine with living alone.
ReplyDeleteI admire your choices and his and I think you have exactly the mental attitude that is required to make it work. The love remains, the dependence on touching, seeing and sharing space is just not available right now. One day....
I totally get it.
jo, thanks for your words. the fact that rudy and i really do like each other helps a lot. independence is a good thing, yet sometimes it's the togetherness that is more important.
DeleteHmm. How do you do that? I guess you did give the answer to that...Tough for me to think though. Got your mail.
ReplyDeletewww.thoughtsofpaps.com
hi paps. i think it is tough to consider doing what rudy and i are doing when you don't need to. we needed to make this decision. it is the path we must follow. for now, anyway.
DeleteDaphne, it is obvious this life totally works for you and Rudy. That is all that matters. When the time is right to again live under the same roof, I'm sure you will make the transition just as well.
ReplyDeleteyes, kat, it does work for us. not everyone could do it. but rudy and i are committed to making the best of the situation.
DeleteI know exactly what you mean. When we had our house, I'd be in the living room or kitchen "living" and he'd be in our bedroom or the garage "living" and it's not too much different than now. We are still "living" and working towards our goals, but now, it's a part. But we are independents. We can do this. I'm glad we can. And I'm glad you and Rudy can too. :)
ReplyDeletei am so glad, taylor, that you can grasp what we are doing. i know it is hard for some, who wonder what is the point? for right now... survival is the point.
Deleteamen to the survival!
DeleteKudos to you both for being able to successfully negotiate this lifestyle. It shows a healthy respect for each other and that independence is not such a bad thing. Beautiful writing!
ReplyDeletethanks you donna. i appreciate the positive words.
DeleteHi Daphne :o) I loved this! There is so much to admire about the way you and your husband accept the fact that you need to live apart for now, and you just make the best of the situation...So often, I see people around me become kind of posessive within their relationships, leaning on their partners alot, resenting them for wanting to have their own space, etc...I think it is much healthier to be able to give each other room to move, yet still trust one another enough to know that the bond between you is unbreakable, no matter how many miles may be between you ♥ I always love your posts! xo
ReplyDeletehello, chantelle. thank you. rudy and i are doing what we can. fortunately it works for us. we are able to manage. no matter the miles apart - as you said.
DeleteI too. Am pretty independent and have many interests that differ from my husband's..we respect each other and like you, are honoring our commitment. Great post!.
ReplyDeletehi, linda. respect definitely plays a big part. and our commitment. yes. huge to our success.
DeleteSo comfortably understandable to me. You love. Deeply. :-)
ReplyDeletenovember, you always say the kindest things. thank you.
DeleteLoved this..your person for a lifetime. Beautiful
ReplyDeleteoh, yes. rudy has been and will always be my person. for sure.
Delete