Sunday, July 15, 2012

i blog because

Way back. Years ago. I had heard the term blogging, yet didn't quite understand what that meant. Not until I saw the movie about the girl who blogs for a year, cooking everything Julia Childs, and documenting it for all to read, allowing readers to be part of her potential goal being met. Interesting concept. Writing down, whatever, and allowing readers to take a peek into your world. The idea intrigued me, although I wasn't sure how time worthy it would be for others to explore my day-to-day life. Just a regular person doing regular things.

And then Rudy was offered the job in Arkansas.

So, I signed up. It took a moment to press the submit button. I gingerly hovered my finger above the clicker on the mouse, arrow on the now I'm committed button, while thoughts swirled in my head. Mostly about throwing my life into the cyber winds. Could I really put our world out there. Well, of course! I reasoned. And then I pressed. Ever so gently, barely registering the click sound.

And so, My Distant Husband was born.

In my mind, I thought What a lifestyle! Living apart from your husband! Yet still in a relationship with him! And having to hold the fort down, making sure the kids continued to behave without a father figure around! While your husband maintained another household, solo, and did what he could to hold you all together! Wow! I would read that! So I began to write. Let my thoughts flow onto the page. Free flowing. No holding back. Just let it go. Tell it like it is.

Twice.

I wrote preparing for the move, to give readers an idea of why this had happened, and how we were hoping to manage. Two days later I wrote my second post food. food. food., and then I didn't write again for five months. I honestly did not know what to write to interest readers about our ordinary daily routines. No one would want to know that I had a cup of coffee in the AM while watching the news, then going off to work. Later, coming home, having another cup of coffee, and then going to bed. And so on, and so on. Sounded mundane to me.

Until.

Last summer, while visiting Rudy for the entire summer, I returned to the blogging world with he lives here. i live there. And have opened my thoughts ever since. For me, it's a way to gauge how I am feeling, and to let my stories be heard.  You see, I am, and will always be, someone who is more of a listener than a talker. Someone may ask how it's going with Rudy living so far away, and verbally, I will water the whole situation down. Just get it out as efficiently as possible, then move on to how that person is doing with such and such.

Blogging has allowed me to detail my life, as consistently as possible, without interruption. Which is a great thing because those who are interested in reading about, or trying to understand, why Rudy and I were given this path to travel, that this is our current destiny, they get to eavesdrop with permission. And more importantly, our children will forever have a place to read my thoughts, and share them with generations to come. There will be no guessing as to what I was thinking.

These are my stories.

(Contribution for BFF prompt: I blog because...)

4 comments:

  1. Oh....yes!!! I love the idea that your children will have something to read of this time!!!

    I can relate so well to your moments before committing to blog. I felt the same. Do I click the button? Do I really agree to put my life and our family "out there"?

    I'm glad that you did.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh....yes!!! I love the idea that your children will have something to read of this time!!!

    I can relate so well to your moments before committing to blog. I felt the same. Do I click the button? Do I really agree to put my life and our family "out there"?

    I'm glad that you did.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh....yes!!! I love the idea that your children will have something to read of this time!!!

    I can relate so well to your moments before committing to blog. I felt the same. Do I click the button? Do I really agree to put my life and our family "out there"?

    I'm glad that you did.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh....yes!!! I love the idea that your children will have something to read of this time!!!

    I can relate so well to your moments before committing to blog. I felt the same. Do I click the button? Do I really agree to put my life and our family "out there"?

    I'm glad that you did.

    ReplyDelete